QUARELLING AND ARGUING IS IT REALLY WORTH IT

A lot of times as individuals especially if you are like me you see the need to defend yourself a lot of times at the slightest attack and getting into unnecessary arguments with family members, colleagues’ or even our spouses especially if we think we are being spoken to wrongly or if what the other person is saying does not appear to be correct. Even the internet these days does not even make it easy to avoid confrontation. We want to air our opinion to every comment on Facebook, twitter or even Instagram even when what is being discussed on the medium does not even make sense or concern us. 

The most important thing about the argument on social media is that a lot of times we don’t even know who is involved but our ego will not let us avoid the argument and confrontation. The irony is that a lot of times at the beginning of the argument we hear the Holy Spirit telling us to let it go, but we ignore the still small voice just because you have made up your mind to win the argument and have the last say. Many times we are even right in what we are trying to say but at the end, the argument does more harm than good, and if we are sincere with ourselves after the argument you know deep down that you have lost your peace and destroyed your witness for God .One scripture that comes to mind is 2nd Timothy 2 vs. 23 -25

New Living Translation

23 Again I say, don’t get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights.24. A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.25.Gently instruct those who oppose the truth.Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.

The Message Bible

23.Refuse to get involved in inane discussions; they always end up in fights.24 God’s servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool,25 working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey. You never know how or when God might sober them up with a change of heart and a turning to the truth.

 The truth is that some battles we fight are entirely useless, pointless and energy draining, even if we are right in what we are trying to say, it is important to be selective in our battles because in some cases having our peace is better than being right. We have to be okay a lot of times with not giving our opinions and comment. A lot of times the quarreler’s goal isn’t to add value to other people’s lives by showing them the error of their ways; its pure show off and wanting to appear better than the other person. Does that mean you shouldn’t stand up for what you believe, No it means you must learn to disagree without being disagreeable? If you have a tendency to be argumentative remember that it costs you absolutely nothing to respect someone’s opinion .

Sometimes it is a good idea to say less than you know because often your power in a situation comes from silence not words. Anxious people tend to blabber on and on and when you are negotiating that can put you at a distinct disadvantage because it tips the other person off that you are insecure. Always arguing also makes it look to the other person like you are begging them to do and see what is right especially if it is beneficial to the one who trying to make a point. The truth is setting aside our will does not come easily it feels like ‘’ giving in’’ and no one likes to do that  especially when you are convinced the other person is wrong , but that is exactly what Jesus did by dying on the cross for us when we were very much in the wrong.  

In the exact words of Heather Lindsey’’ true godly strength isn’t when you can argue with that co-worker, ‘clap back ‘at that friend or spouse or whoever else. Strength is when you know you could say something to destroy someone and you say nothing. Instead, you pour your heart out to the Lord under your breath and you ask him for his help.Vengeance is the Lord and He can repay better than you.  You pray for that person and you understand that you cannot destroy and build others at the same time’’true greatness lays in your ability to rise above pettiness, ego and sensitivity to other people’s opinions.

Most importantly I discovered something recently that can be captured better in the exact words from the daily devotional word for today ‘’ you may let someone off your hook but that does not mean they are off God’s hook. He will deal with them the right way and bring about the right result which is something you cannot do’’.When God fights our battles, He not only wins but God makes us look good while at it.

In conclusion we must all realize that the thing with impacting lives is that you cannot force people to change their opinions, their beliefs, their thinking and especially their live as a whole you have to be able to influence them to want to do that with patience and most especially setting good and godly example.

until our next post

 

Bye and stay refreshed.

References

Word for today daily devotional       9/3/16
Word for today daily devotional       10/4/16
Word for today daily devotional       13/4/16
The other woman : your in-law. How to  live in harmony with your mother-in-law
                                                     TCW   24/5/16